What is it with unrealistic advertisements lately? I don’t know if I have just been paying closer attention to commercials or that they really are becoming unrealistic and just plain bad.

The Microsoft ad below this post is not necessarily a bad ad – just hard to believe. However this new Taco Bell commercial takes the cake – no i don’t like idioms so for that i apologize and leave you with this – as George Carlin would say, “where would you take a cake. you know where i would take a cake, down to the bakery to see the other cakes.”

But really I think its time to take an in-depth look at this next Commercial.

So for those that haven’t seen this commercial… this guy – and I use that term loosely – decides to forgo the claimed 6 dollar nachos at the stadium and buys 3 different types of nachos from Taco Bell – one for 79 cents one for 89 cents and one for 99 cents. We’ll say this comes to 3 dollars after tax. How absurd is this, saving three dollars to look this ridiculous – and is he really saving any money??

He has a dress on, a wig, a purse, makeup and this fancy little clear round display case. Where did all of these come from? Let’s say he got the dress, purse and makeup from his mom (because he clearly does not have a girlfriend). Possibly the wig as well – but we’ll say he went out last Halloween with that wig – or one of his friends did. How about the display case? dollar store – or someone had that too and he borrowed it. So possibly up to 4 dollars spent for this outfit, but we’ll still give him the benefit and say hes still only paid 3 dollars for all of this.

How about saving yourself the embarrassment of 1) borrowing all of these items 2) looking completely ridiculous in front of his buddy and 35 thousand plus fans and 3) trying to slip past the security guard with that ridiculous looking outfit – as a ‘guy’. Alright, so on a very very very rare occasion its drag day at the park………………………….. no sorry i cant even go that far – that’s just unbelievable.

And another good point – if he is really worried about spending 3 more dollars on nachos – should he be going to this event anyways?? I would say the friend gave him a ticket but if on of my buddies pulled a stunt like this – I’m pretty sure i would have ‘lost’ the ticket.

So good job Taco Bell for creating another terrible ad – you just vaulted your way past Microsoft to the top of my ‘Worst ads on TV’ list ( no i don’t actually have a list but if i did they would be a top spot contender).

I know you have seen the recent ads by Microsoft where there is a small child using a computer – rather a PC. And I the end they say “I’m a PC and I’m…….. years old). I try not to comment about ads too often, but this ad really gets me.

First off, Ok we get it, PC’s are easy to use – so easy a caveman can do it (yea wrong ad, i know).  Sure little Alexa can take a couple pictures, assuming she knows how to use a camera. And sure, little Alexa can press a few buttons on the screen to put the pictures of her fort together in a landscape picture. Thats not what gets me.

What gets me is the picture itself. She obvisously did not do this work herself. take a look at the freeze frame below. can you tell me whats wrong?

(i know its carppy photo - i did it in ms paint - something a child does know how to do...didnt have time for photoshop)

Still dont know? Well where can I start?

First the picture she printed is on top quality glossy paper (watch the ad, again i did this in MS Paint).  Now I’m not saying she doesn’t know how to put glossy paper in the printer – of course she can…she’s a PC. No, that’s not what I’m saying at all. I’m saying that most households do not have glossy paper, so she would have printed the pic on regular paper. Now assuming she does have glossy paper in the house – would she have thought to use it? OK, OK, yes she did. Fine. Let’s get to the real point.

Look at the picture itself. Notice anything unusual? Take a closer look at the edges. The picture bleeds to the edge. Come on Microsoft, seriously? A 7 year old knows 1) how to make a picture bleed to the edge and 2) has a printer capable of bleeding to the edge? Either this girl didnt create/ make/ print this picture or our little Alexa is a prodigy – and if thats the case, does she have a resume cuz i want to hire her.

Also, Whats up with the fort? Surely if she can bleed edges then she can create a better looking fort than that. Maybe she should spend less time on the computer and more time being creative. Good job Microsoft for not paying attention to details….wait Vista dectects a problem to let Vista help you with this problem click yes, if you dont click no…………………………………

*Clicks no, goes out and buys a Mac*

It all comes from your pocket – well at least some of it does.

For at least a year (an understatement), when ever you turn on a TV or read the news paper, talk with friends, listen to the radio, communicate in any shape or form, you have heard and probably been overwhelmed with all of the government spending and subsidizing.

Has any one ever sat down to calculate how much our government is actually spending? And I don’t just mean the $700 billion revive and recovery bill passed in 2008 or the $787 billion stimulus package approved this year (2009). Those numbers stare us in the face every day, whether its on CNN, network television or one of the many printed sources around the country. I mean all of this little things our government provides for.

Is it possible that these two numbers, over a trillion dollars,  hinder everyone from other government spending? It was just this morning that I heard on CNN that our government was planning on sending $900 million to Gaza for aid. This grabbed my attention because CNN mentioned it and moved on like it was nothing. Now before you judge me as a cold hearted asshole who doesn’t care about the rest of the world I’d like to explain that I do agree the U.S. should offer aid and support across the world – this story just got me thinking.

After just a few minutes of research on CNN, the Washington Post and the Herald Tribune I found some other proposed and planned spending by our government for the next several years. Take a look as you may not know about these:

• $700B revive and recover (2008)
• $787B stimulus package (2009)
• $900M Gaza rebuild (2009)
• $198M to Filipino Vets (2009)
• $30B to Israel Military Aid (2009 – 25% more preceding the Bush admin)
• $130B in Auto Bailout (proposed 2008-2009)
• $2.7-4.2T issue in bonds (propossed2009)
• $1T in revitalized lending (proposed 2009)

–Just to name a few–

Where does this money come from and who allows legislation to pass for these? At the time I wrote this (10:16 AM 2-24-09), thanks to a handy widget, the U.S.  National debt was $9,959,088,400,000.00 (with roughly $6T of that being held by the public) and of that, my share was $32,698.55 (about 60K for people who work).  But all things set aside economists say there will be a small recovery in 2009 and a solid recover in 2010. I understand I am talking on two different spectrums (economic growth, stimulus, job loss GDP, etc.), but the last time i checked if I was going to be in debt I would not be making a full recovery for some time – especially that much. I digress back to my original point.

If the U.S. is so far into debt how is it possible we continue to bail out companies (some that are VC’s), dish out stimulus packages and provide other countries with aid – all at the same time?

Why and how is it possibe, because China (mainland), Japan, the UK and Carribean banking centers hold about 50 percent of our debt. I find this funny because technically the U.S can never go into debt, because of seigniorage. But of course if we continued down that path it would eventually to hyperinflation. So we stand up to our necks and debt.  And, like every generation before us, and many after mine, I will cotinue to pay for – even though I dont even make enough to cover “my share” (the 60K for people who work) our governments egregious spending.

So what will I do when I get that nice stimulus check? Ehh, probably the same as everyone else, spend a little, save a little. Why?  I still want to retire by the age 35 (not looking so good right now). I want to be able to put my kids through college and have a nice savings fund to get that 35 foot jeanueu sail boat (that for you Pops). But we must remember that none of that will happen unless we invest back into our own economy.

I apologize for not leaving a witty response like Seidell had mentioned. You must understand, due to time constraints I was only able to click that I would be able to attend so I could reserve a seat on the bus. And so I must reason why I was unable to leave said witty response. Right as I was typing I heard a faint growl behind me. I was completely caught off guard jumpedout of my seat and started to run. I had made it almost to the door before I realized that I ha left my security badge at my desk. So for the next few minutes I hid in a closet, thinking of how I am going to out run this, what I assumed to be a, very large beast, get my security key and again run out the door before i get maimed. I waited and waited and waited but heard nothing, so i peered out the closet door and to my surprise – I didn’t see anything. I proceeded to tiptoe back to my desk ever so slightly, peeking around each corner, stopping to listen for followers so forth and so on until I was safely back at my desk. To which I came across another surprise, a co-worker had sent me a video over youtube.com. Not thinking of anything else I opened the video and saw a cute cuddly kitten purring away. What you must realize is that the co-worker sits on the other side of the wall and apparently didn’t have headphones in. It was the video all along. So much for being afraid. So, again I apologize for the delayed remark even though it is still not witty. Please forgive me. Hugs and Kisses. –Chris

There are just some things I cannot not avoid looking at thinking of or seeing on a daily basis.

Check this out:

I swear every time I see the new Pepsi ad, I’m gonna think of this. And you probably will too. You’re welcome.

Its just like the FedEx logo. You can’t not see the arrow. And just incase youve never seen that:

Now I know i didnt think of the Pepsi AD, and Im glad I didnt, but you’d think the ad agency would have been creative enough to spot this – or at least not jump on the Obama campaign wagon. Not that Ihave a problem with Obama, but could there be a larger tree to branch off. BTW – props to them, they did an awesome job – but they’ve helped create a fat Pepsi man.

New inductee to Cooperstown:

A-R*D

Its January 22nd already – as most everyone knows if they are awake. For me, Im already in the office and have been so for a while. Obviously enough time to check my email.

Waiting for it to load… imagining all the spam I have to delete, and what other crap Ive subscribed to in the past, but when it loads I am surprised and shocked to find not one but two alike emails. One from someone I know, another from a subscription.

And this is why I ask: Is it too late?

What is the cut off date for an email to wish someone a happy new year?

I mean seriously? 22 days into the month and you finally get around to it? Im not sure if this is pure laziness or unthoughtful. I am utterly surprised to be receiving 2 emails that say happy new year.

The first from the friend is a little more understandable. Maybe they were on vacation, and things have been busy and were waiting to get back to college to send it. Ok, still doenst sound very reasonable but I can buy it.

The one from a subscription to a companies website is unacceptable. And correct me if I am wrong but it would seem that a company would want to stay in better contact with their customers and/ or consumers. Granted they did send it to me, but really? 22 days later.

I think the cut off date is about 2 business weeks, if you dont have it out 2 fridays after the new year, dont send it. I wouldnt have even noticed that they didnt wish me a happy new year, but now that they have, and with is being so late, im a little disconcerted.

Oh well – off to the delete box they go.

Its finally here, the Inauguration, which will potentially collapse D.C. If not from the weight of 4 million people on the sidewalks then it will certainly be the red line on the metro that shuts down.

There are some things to keep in mind and be aware of, in order to prep for the big day, read on:

1. If you take the metro or are planning on taking the metro and do not have a smart trip – purchase your fare cards now. Avoid the long lines, and the possibility of metro running out of cards.

2. Go to an ATM on Wednesday or Thursday – DC’s banks do not have enough cash for 2 million people – let alone 4 million.

3. Leave your car at work, or try not to move it after Friday. Streets will be blocked off and you will not be allowed to park. Cars will not be allowed in side of M street to the mall – and bus parking is from M street, NW to P Street NW.

4. Bags larger then 8×6x4 will not be allowed in side of the M street area, so pack light – this means no umbrellas even if its raining.

5. Bars will be open 24 hours to serve food. Alcohol will be stopped at 4am, and will probably resume between 8 and 9 am.

6. There will be metal detectors you will have to go through in order to gain access to the mall area (for general admission). again pack light.

7. If you live in DC, bring something that verifies that you live in the city (ie. drivers license, phone bill, piece of mail). It will be hard to access several parts of the city – and trust me you will want to get back into your house.

8. Cab service will be limited – since there are no cars allowed inside of M Street. However, there is bus service from Maryland into the city. There will be service in Virginia but they will only take you to the bridge to walk across.

9. Standing room on the mall will be limited – if all 4 million people go to the mall you should have approx. a 1 foot by 1 foot square to yourself – so be kind and shower

10. Good luck getting around and enjoy!

Winning an Olympic medal is probably on of the greatest feelings in the world, well out side of orga…. n/m lets just say its awesome. Winning in anything feels great though, especially for those of us who are extremely competitive and loathe losing, even in crazy eights

I mean take Usain Bolt’s two Olympic medals in the 100m and 200m he currently is the fastest man alive. an awesome feeling for anyone, i mean i felt a little of it watching him set the world record. but it is not about winning the golds and trophies that i care about.

its about the celebration afterwards. only the true champions celebrate with class.

Take Michael Phelps for example, he just broke 7 world records, 8 Olympic records  and is the most decorated athlete of all time (in gold medals and in overall medals). How did he celebrate – with a fist pump and a smile. Even his mom celebrated with class, giving him a much deserved hug at the end. Now think about how bolt celebrated

Why is it that runners celebrate wores then any one else? They think they are the greatest person in the workld and rub it in everyone elses face, is that really necessary to chest thump, dance, taunt AND kiss your shoes?

For those who win just remember: your not the greatest if you just win, it what you do overall, before during and after that make the person.

Check out my remix to ushers “Love in the club” – to be sung to the same beat

Gotta do it for the salary

And I gott keep it hood

What block we at Polo (ay)

I see you Abu

What you do is drive

But we just turned the car on

Yeaa Man.

I see you waving for a taxi cab

That will take you out and drive you there

Well come here baby and let me show you what it rides like

You know all you gotta do is tell me where your goin hun

And I promise ‘bout the fare I’ll keep it runnin all night long

Lookin in your eyes while you open the other side

And I think that shorty ive got a seat for you

Doin it on purpose waiting and chargin it

I can tell by the way you lookin at me girl

You wanna ride home in this cab ( in this cab, in this cab, in this cab?

You wanna ride home in this cab ( in this cab, in this cab, in this cab?

You got some friends rollin wit you baby then that’s cool

You can leave them with my other cabs, let em know that I got you

If you didn’t know, you’re the only thing that’s in my ride

Cuz the way im staring miss, you got me wantin to drive you all night

Lookin’ in your eyes while you open the other side

I cant take it no more, baby im not waitin for you

I keep doin’ it on purpose waiting and chargin’ it

If I close my eyes it could be just me and you

You wanna ride home in this cab (in this cab, in this cab, in this cab)

You wanna ride home in this cab (in this cab, in this cab, in this cab)

You wanna ride home in this cab (in this cab, in this cab, in this cab)

You wanna ride home in this cab (in this cab, in this cab, in this cab)

(well you know we always rollin! Im on em’)

Yea Lets Go

A rides what you want, its what you need

He got you drunk, the ride aint free

Drunkenly, mentally, physically, emotionally

Ill be like your bestest friend, youll pay for every block we go

Before you get in ill charge you 3, every mile is even more for me

And every time you think about it you know you gave too much to me

About to catch a cab, leather seats in a crown Vic

Pulled over so you dont get sick

get to know me my name is mick

you ever rode and posed in a cab without the lights on

on back country road so I better turn the brights on

on the block, on the highway, on the street, or on the road

you meet me on the corner yeah you know im trying go

you might as well give me the fare

even if you don’t really care

I know your tired

Baby, you didn’t tell where you goin

Please don’t smoke, wait till were done

Keep it up girl and I swear

Im a stop and throw you out

And I don’t care who’s watchin, watchin, watchin (watchin, watchin, watchin)

Ohh get out sawty, on the curb

Baby, I was born to drive

You wanna ride home in this cab (in this cab, in this cab, in this cab)

You wanna ride home in this cab (in this cab, in this cab, in this cab)

Yea…